Learn To Be Alone

by Squitch

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  • Cassette + Digital Album

    This is a second pressing cassette released on Disposable America on red/white split shell tapes. Limited to fifty cassettes and will begin shipping in February.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Learn To Be Alone via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 40 days

      $7 USD or more 

     

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $6 USD  or more

     

1.
Egg 03:17
Excavation site in my bedroom Dust off my skull from When I was an actual person Separate my body From my stupid head They love each other But they’re better off apart Basking in the glow Of all the ugliness Is that the sound Of stained glass breaking? Everything you knew is put in front of you Nothing you ever felt came from the inside Say it, say you don’t care Say it or walk away Say it, say you don’t care Say it or walk away Hulking in the know Of all the gloriousness Hulking piercing sound Of wrong bones aching Everything you knew is put in front of you Nothing you ever felt came from the inside Say it, say you don’t care Say it or walk away Say it, say you don’t care Say it or walk away
2.
I pricked my finger in the bathroom See the blue, gooey liquid Running down my wrist To the cracks in the tiles Subhuman submarine In the bathtub I sink to the bottom Looking up at them You say nice to meet you I say nothing You meet my splintered gaze And smile One night I remember That it can taste sweet I can move body And feel the heat
3.
Part of Me 03:27
Gold in my hands, gold in my heart Everything’s so blissful at the start Here it comes again, leading me astray Join at the water's edge, ask if I'm okay This is the part of me This is the part of me That will never win you over This is the part of me This is the part of me That will never win you over Folding my hands, there's trouble every day Clawing my way out before I suffocate Warning signs abound, a love becomes a hate I'm stubborn and I’m sad, pushing you away This is the part of me This is the part of me That will never win you over I turn and watch you leave I turn and watch you leave Go and find another lover
4.
Time as a commodity Yet it’s so arbitrary My body shapes it Bends it and breaks it To protect me From the pictures that I see Try not to hide Sit around get high Learn to be alone as an instinct Keep your distance from the one Who thinks ignorance is justified As long as you keep it inside Keep it inside Born an anomaly You convince yourself You deserve the best And stand out from the rest And I can't break the mold But if I do what I'm told, You'll keep hurting them And come back again Learn to be alone as an instinct Keep your distance from the one Who thinks ignorance is justified As long as you (Learn to be alone as an instinct) Keep it inside (Learn to be alone) Keep it inside I’d rather be nothing than the trash you left behind I’d rather be no one than a dent in your pride Let’s keep this simple and rip it off fast Before you find out I’m a coward and a hack
5.
Study all your facial features Try to learn to read you Without meaning, you are so cruel Born without a mind you could love If I tell you why I’m bleeding out, you’ll just sink right into the sand You look at me with such disdain I know I’ve done something wrong But I'm afraid if I'm alone with my thoughts, I won't last very long So I make this loud noise with my hands, lie awake and pray it all goes away Become the thing itself, Shriveled and without a mouth But still gaping somehow Turn the body inside out Sanitize and scrub it down Quarantine the thought of how I could say it out loud Become the thing itself, Shriveled and without a mouth But still gaping somehow Turn the body inside out Sanitize and scrub it down Quarantine the thought of how I could still make it out Head underwater Can’t see the thunderstorm Passing through on a summer afternoon The irony sets in Legs feel unstable The flowers she bought me Are nailed to the table
6.
Pretty Boy 02:35
I want to be a pretty boy If you’ll let me Want you to be a bit surprised Every time you see me The sunlight scattered through the shades This place is home to A perfect feeling you can’t shake But I’m not with you Outside my body again All the traps in my head Left behind sleeping in bed I miss walking around on that night in the rain All the water in our eyes street lights on your face The hurt I hid from you so long Starts to show through How do you tell someone you love That they don’t know you? Outside my body again All the traps in my head Left behind sleeping in bed
7.
Reservoir 03:42
Let me introduce myself I’m the bug you stepped on earlier I quite like the soles of your shoes Lots of me-shaped grooves in them Hide away In this corner of my brain I look away I hide my face I let myself waste away In this wasteland I let myself waste away In this wasteland Reservoir Of my inner thoughts Terrified of getting caught Coralite boy Swim through the fog Give it all one final shot Spent the summer in a peach Holding hands secretly by the pit Magically float above the sea Juicy veins, sticky sweet aftertaste Hide away In this corner of my brain I look away I hide my face I let myself waste away In this wasteland I let myself waste away In this wasteland Reservoir Of my inner thoughts Terrified of getting caught Coralite boy Swim through the fog Give it all one final shot
8.
Rut 03:16
You walk the line between satisfying my every need and trapping me in the same rut that I’ve been in for years You’re wasting time smothering me while I’m stuck deciding if it’s worth the guts to try and break out of this rut that I’ve been in for years You make it harder than it should be To be a decent human being You make it harder than it should be to feel like a real human being
9.
Kaleidoscope 03:14
We’re past the hardest part Never had you from the start My voice stopped sounding right Life stays still, cauterized Kaleidoscope boy Changing shape Unwhole unholy A hole in my chest Maybe that’s why you left, Nothing to latch on to Drive hours to get outside Move muscles, feel alive That nameless blank I know Blood vessel, hollow home Kaleidoscope boy Changing shape Unwhole unholy A hole in my chest Maybe that’s why you left, Nothing to latch on to
10.
Not the End 00:59
11.
Night Star 03:33
Quit while I'm ahead Stop before I make my bed And lie in it When I'm almost out Little good Little good Pulls me back in I'd stay if you ask me to But you know you shouldn't ask me to It's getting harder to stick around It's getting harder to stay It's getting harder to stick around It's getting harder to stay Weighing options Biding time Endless searching for what is mine You'll grow roots here Your own night star Is it worth leaving to watch from afar? Drawn to stay by the love the sight But I need to keep moving to the next height It's getting harder to stick around It's getting harder to stay It's getting harder to stick around It's getting harder to stay

about

All songs by Squitch

Em Spooner - guitar on 1-2 & 5-10, bass on 3-4 & 11, arrangement & mixing on 10, lead vocals on 1-2 & 4-9
Denzil Leach - drums, lead guitar on 2 & 9, synth on 6 & 11, field recording and programming on 10, lead vocals on 9
Emma Jane - bass on 1-2 & 5-10, guitar on 3-4 & 11, lead vocals on 3 & 11

1-9 & 11 Recorded and Mixed by Will Killingsworth at Dead Air,
early March 2020

Mastered by Will Killingsworth

Album art by Louis Roe

credits

released December 31, 2020

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Squitch Boston, Massachusetts

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contact: squitchband@gmail.com

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